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About Photography / Hobbyist Core Member JJFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 1 Month
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My antipsychotic drug fact sheet defaced. When I started this drug I felt hopeless. This drug wasn't going to help. And you know what? It didn't.

"I get scared every time I switch meds. I desperately want this drug to work. I feel like we’re moving down a list from easy options to difficult ones. If this doesn’t work I’m afraid I’ll wind up taking a pill that just leaves me numb and clutters my “life” with side effects, pharmacies, and pill boxes. Or a poorly designed cocktail that makes it impossible to tell what is helping/doing nothing/hurting. As much as I want a simple pill to fix what’s wrong, I also don’t want to rely on a pill for the rest of my life.

I’m doing so much better than I was at my worst – but is it even possible for me to completely recover? While my psychiatrist tried to find a mixture of drugs that works for me I’m left thinking that full recovery is possible but difficult for me to obtain – this is more stressful than it is reassuring. If this is as good as it gets that is FINE but I need to know so that I can stop thinking that I’m just not trying hard enough."



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jjscrunchy's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Photography
United States
Diagnosed with severe depression in 2014 and BP II in 2015. Years of self harm that escalated to stitches, emergency room visits, and inpatient hospitalizations in the psych ward before I realized that I was going to have to fight for recovery - it wasn't just going to miraculously happen. Fast forward to early 2017 and I have been self-harm free for 6+ months. I want people to see that progress can be made. It's HARD but you can do it.


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RevolvingStone Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Welcome to DeviantArt !